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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?